Mondays…Get Motivated in Your Relationship

This is my Motivation Monday/Man Crush Monday thought of the day…

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Monthly Date Nights

My man crush always and forever is my husband. This weekend was very productive. We spent time as a family, and we made sure to honor our commitment to getting away from our hectic lives (and our energetic son) at least once a month to have time together. After marriage, and especially after children come in the family, couples forget to make time for each other. Time to talk about ourselves, how we’ve grown individually and how we’ve grown together. Even things that have stressed us and those negative impacts that have overcome ourselves and each other. I believe it’s important to communicate our personality to our partner’s. We go through so many emotional roller coasters that partners need to be told out loud all the emotional changes we go through. No one partner can read the other’s mind no matter how well we think we know each other. Their thoughts and how they feel about those thoughts are two different perspectives. As they always say, “Communication is key!” After all it’s not “Happily Ever After” when you get married like they show in fairly tales. There are so many more adventures and there is so much more work after.

We are not two separate people, but two different people that bring different aspects in the relationship. We work as a team and are partners in life outside and inside our home. When one is slacking in motivation whether it’s life goals or motivation to overcome obstacles, we push each other (especially when it comes to motivating one another to work out). We don’t pay attention to gender roles in our relationship. We equally do the house work, cook, clean, and take care of our son. One might do tasks or chores more than the other, but if one is slacking the other is always there to help pick up after. We value each other’s opinion on topics, ideas and even beliefs in how we raise our children. We can see how our cultural values are different, especially when I come from a culture totally different. Instead of punishing him for not understanding me, I educate him as to why my behaviors are the way they are. You’re not only bringing two different personalities into a marriage you are bringing two different household values and beliefs. Compromise is key in this aspect!

My husband is my MCM (man crush Monday) because we can be nerds together, be athletic together, be adventurous together, discover new things/new places together, be sad together, discuss serious topics together, make each other laugh each minute of the day together, love our son together, show him the world together, forgive together, be spiritual together, be angry together, be supportive of each other, tell each other when we’re getting out of hand, and most of all love together. ❤

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My Sailor Prince

Race? There is a Race?

Photo on 6-22-12 at 7.12 PM

Hubby and I playing with my mac Photo Booth; still dating at the time.

I want to begin by mentioning that I am not for one to really post anything political or social/cultural issues to avoid the awkwardness of opinions that turn into arguments or rants to try to change another person’s point of view. Everything I’m about to say is based on my observation and opinion, nothing on research or sources.  With that I would like to talk about interracial relationships.

I know that back then interracial relationships was forbidden/frowned upon if not all cultures then most cultures. Then through the years as the U.S grew and immigration became larger to create America, couples in different cultures became more involved. Can’t say that it didn’t take some bloodshed or some family feuds at first, but people got through them some how. The reason I bring this up is, my husband and I have realized that since we’ve been together we have noticed a lot of the public looking at us. I don’t mean a smile and wave or a greeting saying how cute we are (though sometimes that happens too). I’m talking about faces of confusion, mean glares and even disgust toward us as we are out in about. We both have noticed it before but never really talked about it until recently.

Honestly, I’m not mad at them or angry. I’m mostly just sad, that in 2014 there are still these little matters of race as an issue between two people. The surprising thing is, it’s not just pointed to one specific type of race that has been giving us “looks,” because it’s been a mix of everyone. Although, it has been more of Caucasian and Asian people that have been giving us these stares. I think the most hurtful day was when my husband and I went to get our car washed. After we paid we sat down to wait until our car was finished and this older man sitting across from us gave a mean stare and made this uneasy grunting disgust noise. The better person in me held back any courage I had to stand up and yell at him for being so disrespectful to us. Instead we drove home and that’s when we brought up the question of interracial relationships.

I know that in my culture, in the Philippines, there is still some bitterness into cross relationships with other countries then our own. Most of it is really just frowned upon the old old generations of our culture. Now a days the Filipino culture is much more open with others especially to people here in America. The most common match ups that I’ve seen in interracial couples between them are Filipino-Caucasian and Filipino-African American (even though older generations really frown upon blacks the most, because of reputation). I’ve never had a preference in a person; I think that even if I were to still live in the Philippines I still would feel the same as I do now. If I didn’t marry my husband now and still was back in the home country, because of the environment I would be around. I would most likely wind up with someone who was also Filipino. Growing up here I was attracted to other Asian guys, the thing was that they were interested in “white girls” (or so it seemed). I believe this was so because Asian guys thought that the girls were interested in “white guys.” For this to happen I have no idea or what the concept of this is, it’s just how I’ve perceived it, especially walking in the halls of high school.

To the pressing matter, again I’m not angry I’m more upset and sad, a bit confused. I know my husband probably feels the same way. It really doesn’t affect us unless they start to hurt one of us or criticizes obnoxiously in public. Honestly, I never thought I would run into this type of problem with us being together, but it really still is out there. It just would be nice if we could go out in public and not have someone judge us with his or her face. No matter what anyone will say to us. I love Michael, not because of his skin or his status but because he’s the person I picked out of anyone in the world. All he had to do was smile and show me his heart.

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When I came down to visit Michael in Virginia. This is one of our club night date nights.