Mondays…Get Motivated in Your Relationship

This is my Motivation Monday/Man Crush Monday thought of the day…

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Monthly Date Nights

My man crush always and forever is my husband. This weekend was very productive. We spent time as a family, and we made sure to honor our commitment to getting away from our hectic lives (and our energetic son) at least once a month to have time together. After marriage, and especially after children come in the family, couples forget to make time for each other. Time to talk about ourselves, how we’ve grown individually and how we’ve grown together. Even things that have stressed us and those negative impacts that have overcome ourselves and each other. I believe it’s important to communicate our personality to our partner’s. We go through so many emotional roller coasters that partners need to be told out loud all the emotional changes we go through. No one partner can read the other’s mind no matter how well we think we know each other. Their thoughts and how they feel about those thoughts are two different perspectives. As they always say, “Communication is key!” After all it’s not “Happily Ever After” when you get married like they show in fairly tales. There are so many more adventures and there is so much more work after.

We are not two separate people, but two different people that bring different aspects in the relationship. We work as a team and are partners in life outside and inside our home. When one is slacking in motivation whether it’s life goals or motivation to overcome obstacles, we push each other (especially when it comes to motivating one another to work out). We don’t pay attention to gender roles in our relationship. We equally do the house work, cook, clean, and take care of our son. One might do tasks or chores more than the other, but if one is slacking the other is always there to help pick up after. We value each other’s opinion on topics, ideas and even beliefs in how we raise our children. We can see how our cultural values are different, especially when I come from a culture totally different. Instead of punishing him for not understanding me, I educate him as to why my behaviors are the way they are. You’re not only bringing two different personalities into a marriage you are bringing two different household values and beliefs. Compromise is key in this aspect!

My husband is my MCM (man crush Monday) because we can be nerds together, be athletic together, be adventurous together, discover new things/new places together, be sad together, discuss serious topics together, make each other laugh each minute of the day together, love our son together, show him the world together, forgive together, be spiritual together, be angry together, be supportive of each other, tell each other when we’re getting out of hand, and most of all love together. ❤

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My Sailor Prince

Hello…It’s me…

It has really been a long time. I always feel so overwhelmed during the school season, that I never feel like doing much else (from the stress). I have so much to share. New journey’s I’ve taken since last time. New experiences. Even new struggles that have come between my path.

Stay tuned for the individual posts I will be sharing on my different pages. {Topics: Food Recipes, Fitness Log, Relationships/Love and Life.}

Something New (Making It Happen)

Hi guys,

There are a couple of new things coming up in my life. One, I will announce in a couple of weeks! The other is something I’ve been looking at getting involved in but have been on the fence to do. I want to start a Wedding Planning business. The only thing is I wouldn’t know how to go about it. Ideas for when it comes to the wedding I am confident in. It’s the process to actually get started. My father in law was telling about the different managements into building this work. Such as: managing the people, managing the time/schedules, managing the vendors, and the budget. I’ve already had these thoughts in the back of mind and I’m pretty good at handling the ‘upfront’ and ‘hands on’ aspect of running this business. It’s the “business” part that I have no clue on approaching. I know building a website/logo is also a key, but what next…where do I go from there…

If there is anyone out there (especially other wedding planners) that can give me tips on how to start wedding planning or direct me somewhere. I would very much appreciate it. Little tips and advice will go a long way. If you happen to live in the Hampton Roads VA area and is a personal wedding planner. I would love to be an assistant and shadow your work ethic. PLEASE contact me or comment below with an email I can contact you with. I would be so grateful for any help! 🙂

Thanks so much,

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Lent

Yesterday was the start of Lent! {For those who don’t know what Lent is about. It’s the act of valuing repentance. As Catholics, for 40 days and 40 nights (from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday) we practice prayer, repent, and fasting. Some may also give up something they value or do that are unGodly means to concentrate on being closer to God and his practices.

My family and I went to Mass to get our ashes put on our foreheads. {Ashes symbolize the dust in which God made us, and that we may remember that we will return to dust again one day.} Then I thought about what I should give up this year and maybe give some ideas to any of you that practice as well.

In previews years I’ve given up soda, chocolate, coffee, video games, and skipping a meal (as far as I can remember). You may ask that those do not add up for how old I am. I’ve repeated some of the previous years when I couldn’t think of anything. This year I decided to give up alcohol. Not that I drink every day at all. This year I feel like I’ve had more alcohol than I’ve had in one year (again not that I drink a lot anyway). I think the reason was because I haven’t had alcohol in a year since I was pregnant than had to breast feed for a while. Subconsciously, I think my mind wanted to make up for it. Plus with friends coming and going and us actually getting to celebrate as a family with our friends having new adventures this year, it added the reason to drink. I just wanted to stop for a while. Plus it helps to lose weight, just another benefit. My husband is giving up video games. Which is good, because he can finally concentrate on better things. Get more stuff done for himself, such a catching up on reading maybe get back into working out.

I laid out some ideas that I hope help some of you. Others people give up: reading certain types of books, tv, social media, electronics, phones, skip 1 or 2 meals, sweets, sex, porn, movies, shopping, going out to do something you routinely do, staying up late, sleeping in, giving up your favorite food/drink…etc. It can really be anything. Anything that distracts you from being closer to God. Good luck! I’ll keep you all in my prayers as well as I hope you keep my family in yours. Have a safe lent! Share some of your lent traditions and practices with your comments below!

 

God Bless,

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Be The Best You This New Year

I hope everyone had a great New Year’s holiday! Mine was pretty laid back. We had a couple of our friends over for dinner, and of course played video games all night (Star Wars: Battlefront). {If you have not gotten the hints, our family is into video games. More recently we’ve been back into gaming because really good games have come out these past few months. I would recommend checking out Fallout 4, Star Wars: Battlefront, Tom Clancy’s :Rainbow Six Siege, Until Dawn (only for Playstation 4), and Destiny: The Taken King.}

Before I talk about what my goals are this year I would like to share this quote.

A friend of mine posted this one her Instagram, which then I had to borrow for this blog today. This makes a great point! We need to learn from the previous year and grow to reach a better goal for the next. Instead of saying, ‘New Year’s Resolution’ I will be mentioning it as ‘goals.’ I will be striving for a better me this year. Do something different in my life to grow and help grow with those around me. I welcome all of you to join with me in achieving your goals this year. Become a better person for you and those around you.

With that, I want to share my goals for this year (with no particular importance to the order). Instead of one thing, because I wanted to really challenge myself. I’ve got about five things I want better myself with. I hope that it can give you guys some ideas on your goals this year as well.

  1. Read more books. This is probably the top five most pick every year, but it’s true. Having social media has really strayed us away from the basics of learning. I want to be a good example for my son. I want him to learn the way I had to growing up before technology took over. I already found a “Reading Challenge” list I found someone sharing off of Facebook. I am currently achieving ‘a book you previously abandoned,’ which is Grey by E. L. James (which I bought right after I got out of the hospital, from giving birth to our son, thinking I was going to have time to read it). I finished, ‘a book you can finish in a day,’ which I did two for reading Maximum Ride by James Patterson (a graphic novel version of the books). I also added a few book topics to the list of things to read, ‘a series of books, a book you read when you were younger, a graphic novel and/or Manga, and a book that was made into a movie or show.’ {I may have more to add as the year progresses}
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  3. Another pretty cliché goal, is to be fit and healthier this year. That also means to eat healthier. Every year I always make this a goal of mine, because one of my many weakness is of my self-conscious body. Way back when I really started to be self-conscious, I was more worried about looking good. Now, as I get older I want to be healthy so I can be around for my son. I know a lot of illness run in my family and I want to make sure I can avoid them if not lessen most of them. Not going to lie, but some of the motivation is still for me to look better for myself. Giving birth to my son really slowed down losing weight for my body, so I have to work twice as much to have any effect. I was doing pretty well right after I got out of the hospital (I worked out with low intensity each day), and took a few weeks off so my body can recover from the birth. When the holiday started I was slowing down on my routine because we had a lot of visitors come and go. {Which is pretty much what happens to most people during the 3 month holiday season} Now, I’m trying to pick back up again, working out about 2 times a day to catch up; my routine is to work out about 6-5 times a week and usually rest on the weekends. As for my eating habits, I’m going back to eating smaller portions and stopping when my stomach says, ‘it has had enough.’ I’m going to make sure that this year around I will try to work a better system so I don’t slack off doing the holiday season.
  4. I want to write more. Fall 2015, I decided to put the time (and money) into this website. In hopes to maybe help bring in some money with more viewers. {Since I’m a stay at home mom going to school, and with a military  paycheck coming in is not much for our little family.} Mostly, I needed something to improve my writing skills. When I first started this website, I wrote a blog post about my english and grammar skills. I’m using this as a journal and a ticket to practice writing. Having a tangible journal only works for a couple of weeks for me. This way, having a website will give me a better push if I make deadlines for myself to write a couple times a week.
  5. Lastly, I really want to explore more this year. I want to get out of the house and get lost in the world. Not that my husband and I are hermits. We usually go out on the weekends because he works during the week. It’s harder with our son because he just has so much stuff we have to take. I also hate taking him in public for too long if he’s being a hot mess that day. Since he will be getting older this year and hopefully be walking around. I hope to go out on more family adventures. Having my son really motivates me to do more for him. I want to teach him things that I never knew. I want to show him different places in hopes one day he sees more than I ever have.

With that, I hope I’ve given you all some ideas for your goals this year. Some other topics that are popular are maybe cutting back on a certain food that’s not particular health for you. Some people make it a goal to maybe visit church more, or be more spiritual attached then they were before. Maybe it’s your plan to have a baby this year (if you do I pray that you and your partner best wishes). Maybe you’re addicted to something and would like to make an achievement to finally cut that habit out of your life (if so I pray that God can give you the strength to do so). What ever you choose to be your goal. {Pray on it. Let God guide the right path for you.} Let the goal fit to what is best for you. Make little goals. Having big ones are harder to accomplish in less time and they can be over whelming. Give yourself time and a chance to achieve them. Everyone is going to have something different or make that same goal different in their own way. Let’s make it another W O N D E R F U L year full of new memories! Be the best you!!!

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1001 Things Happy Couples Know About Marriage: Wedding Plans Part 1

1. You need to know that marriage is more important then the wedding. And requires more planning.

For those getting married, FANTASTIC! Congratulations to you both for finding each other in this big world. I do advise that before taking the next big step in your relationship. Talk about your plans after marriage. Ask each other, ‘what’s next?’ Before planning your wonderful wedding, talk about life and what you see in each other and what you can do for each other as a married couple. Remember that weddings are one day out of a whole life ahead that awaits. It’s easy to plan for a day or a couple of events prior to the Big Day, but a whole life time takes more patience. My husband and I talked through out our dating stage, and even while being engaged (and still as a married couple), about marriage and what a family should be based on our values. Even after marriage, talk about different values of marriage and the challenges it may face in your relationship.

2.You need to know your relationship will be sanctified. 

Whether you are religious or not marriage is a blessing. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves when people don’t take marriage seriously (there are people out there I know that got married because they think it was a good idea or it only benefitted them). Marriage is blessed with all your witnesses and celebrated with those you love.

3. You need to know you’re promising “till death do you part.” Not “till the good times end.”

Another reason people get divorced so easily (especially in todays world where everyone just wants to give up when the going gets tough). I can’t stress enough how hard marriage is. It is not like the “dating stage” or even the “honeymoon stage,” where everything is always sunshine and rainbows. {Where there are little petty fights here and there, and it is very easy to get over it because that couple might not live together so they don’t have to see each other 24/7}. Marriage is getting on each other nerves, having someone in the opposite sex and total different mind set live in the same roof, having petty fights but still having to see each other in passing, going to bed angry, and lots of miss communication. A lot of people give up their marriage because one or two times of maybe trying to fix it. Then still hasn’t worked out the way that person wants. There will always be one, two, three, four, even fifty chances to give to the person you love. It’s finding those reason to always stay. A strong marriage is based on how hard you work on the bad times that come along the way. Sometimes it means exchanging something important for yourself for that special person. My husband and I have had a rough start in our relationship. Especially him being in the military, it’s not easy. Then him being deployed made it harder. There is a lot of work to put into building a family. Make sure both parties are ready to put in the work, no matter what.

4. You need to know to marry for character more than for good looks or money. Okay, a little more.

I don’t believe when people say, “I don’t go for looks when they see a person.” Physically (unless you are blind), when a person sees another they are infatuated with, that first initial attraction comes from looking at them. After that, then yes, being with someone for character and being more attracted to them because of qualities a certain person possesses, is choice. In an average real world, marrying  for looks or their money will not make a person happy. Humans are made to interact with each other, not objects. Superficial things may keep someone happy for a little while, but not in the long run. Find someone that is based off the same values and understandings in a relationship as you do. If building a family is the goal, find someone that would also love to build a family. If it is someone that wants to wait a long time before children or even do not want kids, find that same person. There is a difference when finding and marrying a person because they like the same things you do, and finding that someone with the same relationship/family goals. To extend, there will always be people that like the shame shows, or like sports, or like to be chill, or like animals, etc…as you. They are great qualities to have when you first find someone. It will help when spending time with each other. My husband and I like some of the same things and some we do not. Before we got married, we made sure we laid down what we see ourselves doing in the future and what we will be contributing into the family we would build. The key point is finding someone that has the same future goal(s). That is what builds up the marriage into something that will last forever.

5. You need to know to use your mind as well as your heart when you choose a spouse.

Funny thing about this advice; my aunt told me this same thing when I was dating my husband now. She told me, “60-40, 60% listen to your mind, 40% listen to your heart,” (that may not be the right percentage, but it was close to it). This basically means, to listen to your mind mostly than your heart. Sometimes our hearts can trick us because making decisions based on feelings can cloud a better judgement. Always think things through, communicate, and plan. What the heart says is very temporary. It can pitter patter to every little thing, any little nice thing or affectionate thing, and can pity someone just enough to marry them. A heart does deceive sometimes. It is also very fickle.

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New Blog Page

I finally got to updating and reorganizing my website. I’m so happy I figured out how to put all my blogs in their specific pages. I’m still trying to learn to work Word Press. Hopefully my website is easy enough to coordinate around. I decided to add another page soon. I wanted to summarize and put in my input in a 1001 book I bought last year.

I’m a psychology major, specifically I am going to school to be a family/couples psychology. Last year I bought this “1001Things Happy Couples Know About Marriage,” and I’ve wanted to do synopsis on all 1001. I trying to debate whether I should do 1 or 2 a day or do 5-10 at a time once a week so I can get it rolling…? I would like some feed back as to what’s easier. I figured doing less will gain me some followers and views each day as a pose to doing it once a week.

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Race? There is a Race?

Photo on 6-22-12 at 7.12 PM

Hubby and I playing with my mac Photo Booth; still dating at the time.

I want to begin by mentioning that I am not for one to really post anything political or social/cultural issues to avoid the awkwardness of opinions that turn into arguments or rants to try to change another person’s point of view. Everything I’m about to say is based on my observation and opinion, nothing on research or sources.  With that I would like to talk about interracial relationships.

I know that back then interracial relationships was forbidden/frowned upon if not all cultures then most cultures. Then through the years as the U.S grew and immigration became larger to create America, couples in different cultures became more involved. Can’t say that it didn’t take some bloodshed or some family feuds at first, but people got through them some how. The reason I bring this up is, my husband and I have realized that since we’ve been together we have noticed a lot of the public looking at us. I don’t mean a smile and wave or a greeting saying how cute we are (though sometimes that happens too). I’m talking about faces of confusion, mean glares and even disgust toward us as we are out in about. We both have noticed it before but never really talked about it until recently.

Honestly, I’m not mad at them or angry. I’m mostly just sad, that in 2014 there are still these little matters of race as an issue between two people. The surprising thing is, it’s not just pointed to one specific type of race that has been giving us “looks,” because it’s been a mix of everyone. Although, it has been more of Caucasian and Asian people that have been giving us these stares. I think the most hurtful day was when my husband and I went to get our car washed. After we paid we sat down to wait until our car was finished and this older man sitting across from us gave a mean stare and made this uneasy grunting disgust noise. The better person in me held back any courage I had to stand up and yell at him for being so disrespectful to us. Instead we drove home and that’s when we brought up the question of interracial relationships.

I know that in my culture, in the Philippines, there is still some bitterness into cross relationships with other countries then our own. Most of it is really just frowned upon the old old generations of our culture. Now a days the Filipino culture is much more open with others especially to people here in America. The most common match ups that I’ve seen in interracial couples between them are Filipino-Caucasian and Filipino-African American (even though older generations really frown upon blacks the most, because of reputation). I’ve never had a preference in a person; I think that even if I were to still live in the Philippines I still would feel the same as I do now. If I didn’t marry my husband now and still was back in the home country, because of the environment I would be around. I would most likely wind up with someone who was also Filipino. Growing up here I was attracted to other Asian guys, the thing was that they were interested in “white girls” (or so it seemed). I believe this was so because Asian guys thought that the girls were interested in “white guys.” For this to happen I have no idea or what the concept of this is, it’s just how I’ve perceived it, especially walking in the halls of high school.

To the pressing matter, again I’m not angry I’m more upset and sad, a bit confused. I know my husband probably feels the same way. It really doesn’t affect us unless they start to hurt one of us or criticizes obnoxiously in public. Honestly, I never thought I would run into this type of problem with us being together, but it really still is out there. It just would be nice if we could go out in public and not have someone judge us with his or her face. No matter what anyone will say to us. I love Michael, not because of his skin or his status but because he’s the person I picked out of anyone in the world. All he had to do was smile and show me his heart.

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When I came down to visit Michael in Virginia. This is one of our club night date nights.

Hello world!

Hi! My name is Jannine. This actually isn’t my first blog. I have been going around to different sites figuring out which webpage is easy and fun to use. One of my friends on Facebook started a blog on Word Press and I wanted to see the format of how these pages worked. So far I like it!

I started blogging really to practice on my writing skills. I have so many thoughts and it’s so much harder to put them on paper (in this case just writing) than me saying it to someone. I’m not particularly great at English. If you knew me personally it not my first language. English wasn’t my best subject at school either…on a side note I think it’s funny that my mom is pretty good at grammar but can’t speak English very well and has an accent. While I can speak better but terrible at English grammar. Seriously, what’s up with that…anyways, I loved writing stories when I had the time. I still have stories not finished on my computer file waiting to get typed. Getting older I needed more of a outlet for the stress going on around me. I used to keep a journal when I was younger. A couple in fact. Getting older I’ve had a few journals promising to write on them daily, but never do. Then blogging came and it’s been a bit easier to write about what’s going on in my mind.

This blog is going to be random. Mostly about relationships and love (which you will learn I am a hopeless romantic). I also have an interest in it since it is a career path of mine to become a marriage/family therapist. I’ll be talking about my family. Recently, we just had our first baby. Which I will be writing a lot about our boy and the journey of my pregnancy soon. A couple things about my health and fitness. It’s always a struggle to get in shape when you LOVE food like I do. I will also writing things about my life as a Milso. My husband has been in the navy for 4 years now. I can give my input on how a military spouse can save a marriage or talk about the struggles we face as a family.

It’s going to be fun! I hope you all read and like. (For all you grammar Nazis. I already apologize ahead of time. Like I said in the beginning of this post. I am terrible at English and I am a bit dyslexic. I am hoping to improve my writing by keeping this blog active. I do go back and keep rereading what I write because I always find something to edit.)

Happy blogging!

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