Mondays…Get Motivated in Your Relationship

This is my Motivation Monday/Man Crush Monday thought of the day…

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Monthly Date Nights

My man crush always and forever is my husband. This weekend was very productive. We spent time as a family, and we made sure to honor our commitment to getting away from our hectic lives (and our energetic son) at least once a month to have time together. After marriage, and especially after children come in the family, couples forget to make time for each other. Time to talk about ourselves, how we’ve grown individually and how we’ve grown together. Even things that have stressed us and those negative impacts that have overcome ourselves and each other. I believe it’s important to communicate our personality to our partner’s. We go through so many emotional roller coasters that partners need to be told out loud all the emotional changes we go through. No one partner can read the other’s mind no matter how well we think we know each other. Their thoughts and how they feel about those thoughts are two different perspectives. As they always say, “Communication is key!” After all it’s not “Happily Ever After” when you get married like they show in fairly tales. There are so many more adventures and there is so much more work after.

We are not two separate people, but two different people that bring different aspects in the relationship. We work as a team and are partners in life outside and inside our home. When one is slacking in motivation whether it’s life goals or motivation to overcome obstacles, we push each other (especially when it comes to motivating one another to work out). We don’t pay attention to gender roles in our relationship. We equally do the house work, cook, clean, and take care of our son. One might do tasks or chores more than the other, but if one is slacking the other is always there to help pick up after. We value each other’s opinion on topics, ideas and even beliefs in how we raise our children. We can see how our cultural values are different, especially when I come from a culture totally different. Instead of punishing him for not understanding me, I educate him as to why my behaviors are the way they are. You’re not only bringing two different personalities into a marriage you are bringing two different household values and beliefs. Compromise is key in this aspect!

My husband is my MCM (man crush Monday) because we can be nerds together, be athletic together, be adventurous together, discover new things/new places together, be sad together, discuss serious topics together, make each other laugh each minute of the day together, love our son together, show him the world together, forgive together, be spiritual together, be angry together, be supportive of each other, tell each other when we’re getting out of hand, and most of all love together. ❤

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My Sailor Prince

Simple 101 Beauty Tips

Sometimes with so much information out there about health and beauty we get overwhelmed and don’t really know what is the correct way to approach everything with so many different products. I want to first share that I don’t have a degree in cosmetology nor have I gone to school for any of this information. I state these opinions based on personal preference, as a consumer, experiences through trial and error, feedback from others, as well as previous readings. I want to share with you some basic beauty knowledge that I think are important when stepping in to proper skin care products and beauty routines.

First, Know Your Skin

Everyone should be aware of knowing their body. Find out if you have oily skin, dry skin, or combination skin. Notice the difference in what changes your skin through out the day. Be aware of how the skin reacts to certain stimulations of certain products and even objects that touch the skin (objects hold many influential chemicals and materials that can give skin many reactions). Also be aware what time of the month it is (especially for women). Knowing the time of the month can help determine if the skin is breaking out from hormonal reactions or because seasons are changing. Lastly, know what the body is taking in. Certain foods, drinks, and even drugs (pharmaceutical or illegal) can cause many reactions from the excretions of the nutrients contained in them and expose it outside our bodies.

Stick To A Skincare Regimen That Works For You

Finding the right skincare product can some times be a hassle. It takes trial and error to figure out which type and brands work for your skin. It’s definitely okay if you can’t find something the first go around. Test products out depending on where you buy them some may give you time to try and return if you’re not satisfied. With that, keep in mind nothing happens over night. Try the product everyday for at least a week or two (or as said in the product instructions) to see if the results you want are what you are getting. When you do find that cleanser, toner, or foundation that has been beneficial; STICK TO IT. Try not to jump around certain makeup products (such as cleanser, foundation, moisturizers, toners, etc)  when it’s worked for you (eyeshadow, lipstick, etc are an exception).

Follow A Routine 

When you’ve found that skincare line that’s worked for you, get a routine down. Like most things in our life, routine is key to gain the results we want. Make the time to properly take care of your skin by cleansing, toning, moisturizing, and priming before putting makeup products on. Even if you don’t use makeup everyday. It’s still important to cleanse, tone and moisturizing for the day. I believe this is one of the hardest parts of realizing others need to do to get that healthy skin. It is mostly because it is task oriented. Some of us are in a hurry and think it takes too much time, or are too “lazy” to start a routine. My biggest advice is to find a time where you are already prepping for the day. For example, immediately after taking a shower is a perfect time to apply all the correct products need to get started. You can also applying right before bed. I’m sure many of us have some sort of bed time routine, so before that final slip under the covers. Why not add a few minutes after (or before) brushing your teeth to cleanse the face. Remember that when we are resting through the night. That is when our bodies are taking the time to heal and repair our skin. 

Less Is More

This applies to many things. For instance, when we buy food we often look at the labels to see what the calories are or what ingredients it has. Do the same for makeup and skincare products. I’ve always believed that the less and simple ingredients the better. {Try to aim for products that contain more natural ingredients as well. Avoid products that contain harsh alcohols and other chemicals not meant for the skin. Lastly, try to avoid skincare that have a fragrance (unnatural).} Second, when applying product you only usually need just a dime full at a time. That way there is no wasted product and you can always add more as needed. 

It’s Time To Upgrade 

Some of us like to stick to store brand products because it’s what we all started out with and are used to. It’s conveniently available at almost any store you walk into, and let’s be honest, it’s cheapest. But remember cheapest doesn’t always mean the best or the most healthy. Most of the cheaper brand products contain many unhealthy ingredients and harsh chemicals that can do harm in the long run. Some of the products are okay to use once in a while and even as back up when your main product has run out. As we get older, we need to take proper care in what we use. At a certain age its time to set a side some of those unhealthy skin routines and treat yourself to some luxury glow.  It’s the same concept as, “When we get older we need to eat healthier more often.”

The Head To The Neck

When applying skincare products such as: moisturizers, toners, cleansers, and foundations; it’s important to bring those products down to the neck. Do what you do to your face to your neck. It provides an even tone and keeps the face/neck balanced. {You wouldn’t want to have a clean smooth face with a dry wrinkled neck.}

Take It Off

I know it might be redundant and we all hear it, but it is very important. PLEASE TAKE YOUR MAKEUP OFF! Sometimes we might get lazy and or are too tired at the end of the day, but it’s very simple to just take a makeup removal wipe and take it off (do it while you are sitting in the bathroom one last time before bed if you have too). Once in a while is fine. For example, coming in really late at night or just one of those really long days that you are too exhausted and just go straight to bed. However, if you have time to get food or walk around when you get home, you can certainly take a couple seconds to take your makeup off. 

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Cleaning Makeup Brushes *Cheap and Easy*

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Clean clean those brushes and makeup tools. Trust me they get super nasty when you never clean them. It’s also not healthy for your skin to keep reapplying uncleaned brushes/sponges. The cleaning tools (as you see on the top picture) are inexpensive.

Zote soap 97¢ (at Walmart stores). Most people (as well as I did) would buy a makeup cleaner spray that cost $7+ that lasted about 3-4 uses until the bottle was gone. Not only did I notice that it didn’t clean my brushes thoroughly (really deep in the brush) but it always left an oily residue. I found out Zote, is another alternative to cleaning the brushes that cleans them so well. It looks and feels like it was just new. It even cleans blending sponges (you know how hard it is to clean the sponge with the cleaning spray…it only cleans the surface)! Zote also smells great AND the best part, it’s only 97¢!! It will last you months. I’ve only had to buy one since I found out about it and it’s been 8 months! 

These brush pad cleaners I recommend any at Amazon will be the cheapest (mine were $9 for both, there are cheaper ones or if you want one). Any other products out in stores or name brand will be around $15-$20.

1001 Things Happy Couples Know About Marriage: Wedding Plans Part 1

1. You need to know that marriage is more important then the wedding. And requires more planning.

For those getting married, FANTASTIC! Congratulations to you both for finding each other in this big world. I do advise that before taking the next big step in your relationship. Talk about your plans after marriage. Ask each other, ‘what’s next?’ Before planning your wonderful wedding, talk about life and what you see in each other and what you can do for each other as a married couple. Remember that weddings are one day out of a whole life ahead that awaits. It’s easy to plan for a day or a couple of events prior to the Big Day, but a whole life time takes more patience. My husband and I talked through out our dating stage, and even while being engaged (and still as a married couple), about marriage and what a family should be based on our values. Even after marriage, talk about different values of marriage and the challenges it may face in your relationship.

2.You need to know your relationship will be sanctified. 

Whether you are religious or not marriage is a blessing. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves when people don’t take marriage seriously (there are people out there I know that got married because they think it was a good idea or it only benefitted them). Marriage is blessed with all your witnesses and celebrated with those you love.

3. You need to know you’re promising “till death do you part.” Not “till the good times end.”

Another reason people get divorced so easily (especially in todays world where everyone just wants to give up when the going gets tough). I can’t stress enough how hard marriage is. It is not like the “dating stage” or even the “honeymoon stage,” where everything is always sunshine and rainbows. {Where there are little petty fights here and there, and it is very easy to get over it because that couple might not live together so they don’t have to see each other 24/7}. Marriage is getting on each other nerves, having someone in the opposite sex and total different mind set live in the same roof, having petty fights but still having to see each other in passing, going to bed angry, and lots of miss communication. A lot of people give up their marriage because one or two times of maybe trying to fix it. Then still hasn’t worked out the way that person wants. There will always be one, two, three, four, even fifty chances to give to the person you love. It’s finding those reason to always stay. A strong marriage is based on how hard you work on the bad times that come along the way. Sometimes it means exchanging something important for yourself for that special person. My husband and I have had a rough start in our relationship. Especially him being in the military, it’s not easy. Then him being deployed made it harder. There is a lot of work to put into building a family. Make sure both parties are ready to put in the work, no matter what.

4. You need to know to marry for character more than for good looks or money. Okay, a little more.

I don’t believe when people say, “I don’t go for looks when they see a person.” Physically (unless you are blind), when a person sees another they are infatuated with, that first initial attraction comes from looking at them. After that, then yes, being with someone for character and being more attracted to them because of qualities a certain person possesses, is choice. In an average real world, marrying  for looks or their money will not make a person happy. Humans are made to interact with each other, not objects. Superficial things may keep someone happy for a little while, but not in the long run. Find someone that is based off the same values and understandings in a relationship as you do. If building a family is the goal, find someone that would also love to build a family. If it is someone that wants to wait a long time before children or even do not want kids, find that same person. There is a difference when finding and marrying a person because they like the same things you do, and finding that someone with the same relationship/family goals. To extend, there will always be people that like the shame shows, or like sports, or like to be chill, or like animals, etc…as you. They are great qualities to have when you first find someone. It will help when spending time with each other. My husband and I like some of the same things and some we do not. Before we got married, we made sure we laid down what we see ourselves doing in the future and what we will be contributing into the family we would build. The key point is finding someone that has the same future goal(s). That is what builds up the marriage into something that will last forever.

5. You need to know to use your mind as well as your heart when you choose a spouse.

Funny thing about this advice; my aunt told me this same thing when I was dating my husband now. She told me, “60-40, 60% listen to your mind, 40% listen to your heart,” (that may not be the right percentage, but it was close to it). This basically means, to listen to your mind mostly than your heart. Sometimes our hearts can trick us because making decisions based on feelings can cloud a better judgement. Always think things through, communicate, and plan. What the heart says is very temporary. It can pitter patter to every little thing, any little nice thing or affectionate thing, and can pity someone just enough to marry them. A heart does deceive sometimes. It is also very fickle.

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